So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
