is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
