Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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