Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I touched a dick in church today
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