no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
