So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
