You're so nebulous sometimes
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
