There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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