i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
