oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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