Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
where does the pee come out of this thing
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
