This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
