The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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