I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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