Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
