just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well I just put wine in my tea
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
