Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
