The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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