it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
