"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
why do cheetos always look like penises
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
