my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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