he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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