You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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