guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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