Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
