Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
