I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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