i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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