I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
