I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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