i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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