So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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