I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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