I want to stick my p in your. b.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I wear drunk well.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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