i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
