I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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