K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
