Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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