I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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