Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
