help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
