She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
