how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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