so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
