Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
