I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
