I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
