well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
