sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
