If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
