i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Every concussion has its silver lining
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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