i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
